Category: Let's talk
have you ever sat on a buss next to a complete stranger, and started chatting to them, and within minutes, they have divulged to you the most intimate and personal details of their private life? I can remember meeting the wife of a friend for the first time on a buss, in fact, and although I'd never met her before, she proceeded to tell me all about her marital problems, how her husband wouldn't allow her to have a joint bank account, how he came home drunk every night ... etc, and on another occasion when a guide dog trainer came to do my aftercare, I asked innocently if she had children and she proceeded to tell me all about how she did have one, but how she'd had so many fertility problems, and had 5 miscarriages ... etc. As someone who doesn't generally talk about my most inner thoughts/feelings, apart from to people I absolutely trust and feel that I can talk to, it always strikes me as amazing that some will tell absolutely anything to anyone.
so what do you reveal, and to who. are you one of those type people who will reveal everything to anyone who will listen? and if so, what is it that makes you feel you can talk to anyone, or are you like me, more closed, and only the privilaged see the inner you.
Well, for me either I'd reveal my secrets to a very close and trusted friend or (conceivably) to a total and complete stranger who does not know me and whom I will likely never meet again. It's the in-between folks that I would be most cautious about. I think it can be almost good (in some ways) to discuss your problems with someone who knows nothing about you or your background. Not to say that I do this regularly but I've had some intimid conversations (well intimid in the sense that it's about personal things) with complete strangers on airplanes. I was flying to Houston once and somehow at the end the guy sitting beisde me (a ig business man in the Houston area) was telling me how his wife's breast milk just didn't taste all that great. I was highly amused and must admit a few beers were cetainly involved. I am one of those people who like striking up a conversation with a complete stranger, especially on long haul flights, after all we're all different and interesting and have stories to tell and you never know, the person sitting next to you might be someone you could network with in the future, especially if you end up flying business class. The best networking opportunities come when meeting complete strangers.
Cheers
-B
hahah WB I agree whole-heartedly with you. I sometimes find myself sharing so much with complete strangers when I wouldn't share that same info with people who knew me. But I think it really depends on my mood and how I was feeling at the time, whether it be the need for someone to just listen, or the need to keep away from others.
*sexy*
Yes but they were well on and it was a wet monday..nevertheless, even in those circumstances, I have never fallen into the trap of being a sad git looking for sympathy
Nope, I'm not one to divulge to strangers, or even to most friends come to think of it. I always find it interesting when people spill on public transport. It seems to happen there more than anywhere else. The boredom perhaps? Or someone with a guidedog looks like a good listener?
I only tell people as much as I believe they need to know, but some people will just tell people everything without thinking about it.
hmm yeh maybe the guide dog, or the fact that they think that, because the person can't see them, they won't recognize them if they ever see them in the street again and say, there's that person who told me all that stuff about their personal life .. grin
I usually don't start conversations with people in person unless I know them or to ask about something. But if we do end up having a conversation, I don't mind sharing some details about myself if it relates to the conversation. Like for example, me and a driver of a paratransit van started talking about children and then teenagers, as I was going home from an elementary school. So she was telling about her son and I could relate to it because of my 2 brothers. So usually, I don't mind sharing things about myself in person with strangers, as I'm not sharing very personal information anyways.
Leilani
I would not equate revealing your life to strangers with trying to get sympathy. It may be true for some but the two are not the same at all. You may have the greatest life and you may want to talk about how great it is with the person sitting next to ya. If that person is interested and there's nothing else to do, why not.
I really don't have any kind of "policy" on the issue. It depends on how the conversation goes, and where it carries us. In general, I suppose I am willing to reveal myself to about the same degree to which the other person reveals himself or herself to me.